Post-Script ( & New Link )

I never thought this day would come, but it has. :P

The Rolling Donut

Scroll to the bottom to see what I mean. ( Hey thanks, dude! :))

A New Level Of Pain

Also known as the Miss Singapore ( Universe ) pageant ( although I've always thought the "universe" bit sounded ridiculously unnecessary ).

I was home last night and chanced upon the "live" telecast, in between flipping channels at such a fervent speed my mom finally couldn't take it anymore and told me to stop. :P Believe it or not, we settled on watching this spine-chilling event, or at least the last 45 tortuous minutes of it.

I can't be specific ( ie. mention contestants by name ). I usually just say "Girl in Pink Sequinned Gown", "Girl With Vacant Look", or "Girl Who Lost Train Of Thought In The Middle Of Answering The Question". The last one won, I think. :D

All sweet young things. Some quite pretty, in fact. Most, unfortunately, not very articulate. Intelligence-wise, I can't really say, since I'd like to give them some benefit of the doubt, and ASSUME all the bright lights and stage fright had some part to play in their vapidity ( does that word exist? ). But based on my assessment of their pageant antics, they just come across as really ditzy.

The questions round was my favourite. Standing next to hosts Gurmit Singh and Michelle Chong, both of whom are excellent speakers and actually have brains, the girls would've made any sane person cringe. ( I thought the gimmick of getting people off the street to ask the questions was quite ingenious, by the way. Especially that obese Primary 1 schoolboy who asked, "What in Singapore's history would you change if you had the chance?" And in case you didn't catch the answer, the gal who picked that question said, "Improving Singapore's defence during the Japanese Occupation, because we were too complacent." Er, okay. )

Looked like we weren't the only ones suffering, though. Judge Andrea de Cruz definitely grimaced after one particularly agonizing answer. As for my mom: "Giving birth to you was less painful." :P

Trust women to be more astute. Vaya, you hit the nail right on the head. :) I'm in awe of anyone who doesn't watch any TV. How do you do it? I even sacrifice much-needed sleep for some one-on-one time with the goggle box. And now, with "The O.C." ( short for Orange County ) premiering on Thursday night, I'm gonna lose another hour each week. I've read excellent reviews in various magazines, so yep, will be sure to tune in ( and give my two-cent review ).

Remember that "incident" at a Blogger Dinner a few nights ago? Here's what a friend of mine had to say ( or write -- this is an email transcript ):
"This is indeed a dark day for women everywhere...a bachelor with the self-love of Kim Jong Il and physical appeal of William Hung is officially off the market. I am worried that when this news reaches other parts of the world, there will be a lot of women committing suicide because they will never know his touch."
This came from a guy. He's one of the best counsellors I know. Naturally. :D
And for the record, he's taller than William Hung. Heh heh. ;)

Is it just me, or is moving house always such a big headache? Granted, the last time I shifted residence, I didn't have to look for furniture. Having an empty apartment poses new challenges, I suppose. Especially when my parents and I have so many books and little storage space. Anyhow, the saga continues, this time with light-fixture-hunting and fixing of minor defects. Next up, assembling all the furniture, installing the lights, the tedious process of carting stuff to the new place, then finally, bringing the TVs and piano. I'll be glad when it's all over. But it's gonna take a while longer still. Sigh.

So did you see the new links? The medical ones are my favourites from a long list I ploughed through. And if you read every one of them, you'll probably notice similarities in writing style. More is to come, however. Can't tell you what at the moment ( re-m, you know what I'm talking about :)). Just be patient.

Right then, time for me to sign off and see more patients.

And so it's done.

I've made a small change. See if you can spot it. :)

Reason for small change? Returning to basics. Paying tribute to my favourite actor, who's responsible for this site's address after all.

I briefly considered rebooting Haloscan so the comments would be erased yet again, providing a pseudo-clean slate. But so many of you know me already. Would it have made any significant difference?

Maybe this small change doesn't really matter. But I feel a need to distance myself a little. People tell me I reveal too much in a too public domain. Meeting my fellow bloggers this past week has illustrated the folly of being too frank when my real identity is put out there for all to see.

Hmm. Some changes need to be made. Or at least TRY to be made.

Keep reading though. :)

The Surge hasn't begun yet. Man, I hate waiting.

Saturday 9-5, and the waiting area has only 3 seats filled. No more temperature screenings, no more recording of patients' / visitors' details. But the mask-wearing continues. Thank goodness for that. :)

So I received a text message from an old friend last night. Seems I'm beginning to sound like a broken record and scaring potential suitors off. :) Okaaaaaay, just for you, I'll desist in my ranting, though I could really care less about losing suitors. ;) Vaya can take over from here, haha! Besides, with re-minisce out of the country, my Venting Gene somehow loses its ability to replicate. Kidding. :P

An email sent out by a fellow department MO signalled the end of yet another rotation. "Farewell Dinner", it said. Let's see, since my housemanship, I've attended more than 10 already, and this'll probably make it the twelfth. Wide variety of specialties, with their own larger-than-life characters. Surgeons sponsoring buffet feasts in posh hotels. Physicians with their smaller-scale affairs ( although SGH Gastro took us to the Ritz, ooh yeah! ). The A&E farewells are a bit sad in comparison, but it's more a budget-cum-logistics problem than one involving cheap-skate mentalities. ER physicians don't make much, and usually have around 20 MOs to feed. Note to the hospital admins --we need more MO welfare funding down here.

Is it possible to spend a whole year in a department yet feel out of place? I think so. This may be the first time I've ever experienced this, and ironically it's in an ER. Even more ironic is how I've bonded more with the nurses and healthcare assistants than with my fellow doctors ( certain seniors in particular ). This isn't a blame game. And I'm not fed up at all. It's just a realization that there're lots of different factors at play in a situation like this --factors none of us may have any control over, perhaps. It isn't even anything dramatic. I don't need regular praise or pats on the back to feel good about myself. I answer only to my own conscience -- and God. What I'm talking about is simple stuff -- taking some interest in a person's hobbies, asking about a recent overseas trip, etc. Maybe I come across as a bit stand-offish. But during an A&E posting in 2001 ( in a different hospital ), I was an inexperienced junior and absolutely terrified of everyone, but my seniors always made it a point to engage me in friendly conversation ( be it talking shop or just small talk ), and were genuinely intrigued by my life outside medicine.

May not seem like much, but in the long haul, when you come to the crossroads and have to decide which path to take, it's the small stuff that sways you in a particular direction. Hard work, long hours and high stress levels be damned. I just want to feel like I belong.

This isn't meant as criticism. I've learnt so much this past year, and the people are actually very nice. I guess, for me, something seems to be missing, and no matter how trivial that something is, it makes a world of difference to me.

I will always have good memories of this place. A big thank you to everyone for having me this past year.


And in other news ( "normal programming" kicking in here :)), Amy Adams was just booted off AI3, with Jennifer Hudson and Latoya London rounding off the bottom three for this week. Horror of horrors! I'm a huge fan of both Jon Peter Lewis and John Stevens, but c'mon, these guys SUCKED in the latest round, and JS should've been ousted based on performance alone. "This is a singing competition," Simon Cowell loves to say, but it sure doesn't look like it anymore. Instead, this seems to be turning into a "Cute Fellows With Questionable Talent Will Win No Matter What" scenario. Tsk tsk.

And the latest casualty in Survivor: All-Stars? Jerri, the uber-b**** from the African installment. Tribal lines went flying out the window, and Amber now has 3 more days on the island, thanks to Boston Rob, her Protector, Potential Boyfriend After The Show Ends, and Universally-Feared Power Player. "You take care of her, and I'll take care of you," he says to Lex as the groups disperse. "If we vote Amber off, Rob will be really pissed," Shii Ann whispers during one pow-wow. "It'll be like the wrath of God coming down on all of us." I used to think Rob Cesternino was the best I'd ever seen in this series. I take it back. All hail Boston Rob. :D

Will keep the angst to a minimum, and stop dispensing advice. For now at least. :)

Food For Thought

I actually got home earlier than expected, and all that Indonesian fare from the excellent Rice Table, plus the fact that this is the 2nd off-day for me this week, has made me quite euphoric. Ahhh, really miss that. :)

To continue discussing a couple of topics re-minisce recently brought up...


The Truth About Cats & Dogs

I firmly believe that almost every single human being on the planet can be classified into either category. I say almost, because there are those who either hate BOTH cats and dogs, are petrified of them, or use them for crazy rituals. Just like the XX and XY phenotypes, with the occasional hermaphrodite. Oh well...

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. As readers of both our blogs can see, I'm a cat person, while re-m is more partial to dogs. I like dogs too, but would never consider having one as a pet. Play with a canine for a few minutes and get slobbered over, that's okay.

People tend to assume that cats are detached from their owners, which essentially implies that they're not very warm or receptive, and don't love you unconditionally the way dogs do. Maybe I've been lucky. I've had quite a number of cats my whole life, and had wonderful experiences with many of them, despite a significant portion being strays I carried off the street. Some of them died of natural causes, some were put down when they developed various illnesses and I couldn't bear to watch them suffer anymore. One was bashed to death by a neighbour ( never caught him red-handed though ). A couple of them disappeared suddenly, probably when they got sick ( cats do that ). My current ginger tomcat has been with me the longest -- 7 years this September. I put him in the palm of my hand the moment he was born ( his mom had her litter in my house ), and we bonded instantly.

Cats are independent creatures, no doubt about that. They have tempers, they scratch, they occasionally bite down hard when they're irritated ( but short of blood-letting ), and do pretty much what they please. Dogs are usually the opposite ( crazy Rottweilers not included ). Why then, do I prefer felines?

For one, I think they're beautiful to look at. Regal, multi-coloured fur coats, long bushy tails, huge emerald or sky-blue eyes, those pert little noses, the long delicate whiskers, graceful bodies capable of scaling walls and trees, muscles that enable them to balance on rooftops and narrow ledges, and the inborn ability to always land on their feet.

Character-wise, let me use my present pet as a good example: He's intelligent, fun, affectionate, reads my moods more accurately than some humans, and loves to snuggle beside me when I need it most. He greets me at the door when I get home, and looks mortified whenever I leave. What I remember most fondly though, is how, a few years ago, he walked up to me as I sat sobbing on the couch, climbed onto my lap, and stayed there till I stopped crying.

Sure, dogs can give me unconditional love. They'd probably lick me even after a big spanking. But I look for challenges in everything, even pets. If I had to choose between one that gives without thinking, and one that loves you even when it isn't in its nature to do so, I'd pick the latter any day.

Same thing with men. I think. :P


The One

I briefly considered emailing re-m with some of my thoughts, but wasn't too sure if he'd welcome the intrusion, so here's a whitewashed version for public consumption.

Do I believe in The One?

As a child / teenager / young adult pre-relationship: Yes.

At present, post-breakup: Still yes.

Many friends consider me a cynic, both pre- and post-breakup ( Ironically, I was quite the optimist in between, haha. ) And yet, after all that has happened, I hold onto this hope for dear life, and believe in it wholeheartedly. Do I think it's a little stupid? Maybe. I definitely didn't think my ex was anywhere even near The One, but we lasted 5 years, and had our moments. His not being The One wasn't even the reason we broke up. Funnily enough, it was because he didn't think I was The One, despite being the pursuer from the word go and initially professing that I was. Imagine that! :P

Do I have The One in my sights? Again, yes. And no, I won't reveal who it is. Let's just say this person is currently oblivious of how I feel, but whether he'll realize it one day or not is of secondary importance. He does, however, bring me both great joy and peace, and at the rate things are going, will most likely marry someone else.

But it's okay. And that may be the reason I know he's The One -- placing his happiness before mine, wanting the best for him, even if I get hurt in the process. Anybody who's eventually lucky enough to end up with The Right One for them makes me very envious. Even if it's a fleeting experience, like that of re-minisce and his lady, it's certainly better than none at all.

I hope this doesn't sound like an unrequited love drama, because it isn't. It's no fault of this guy that the situation stands as it is at the moment, and I've got other things to think about anyway. I guess this is where Patience steps in, and Fate. For me, I have lots of the former, but leave the latter to God. And if I marry someday, and my husband isn't The One, life will still go on, and the memories will never fade. It's possible to love a person even if he isn't everything you'd hoped for. What's important is knowing when you've got a good thing right before your eyes, and being able to accept happiness when it seeks you out.

Re-minisce, some big-sisterly advice for you before you return to England. K will always be The One for you, and no doubt you'll always want someone like Her. It's natural. Understandable. Romantic. Maybe you're content to be alone for the rest of your life should you never find anyone remotely like Her. Maybe you'd feel shortchanged if you settled for anything less. It's completely up to you. The way I see it, it isn't actually settling for less. It isn't even settling at all. You strike me as a very smart, careful fellow, not prone to reckless flings or over-romanticizing. If you can just look a woman and find her attractive without once comparing her to Someone, you would've won the first leg of this battle, and the rest will fall into place. When and how this will come about, I have no idea. You don't need closure like I do. Maybe you just need to appreciate Qualities for what they are, just by themselves, and not in relation to Her. Being reminded of Her by a dinner companion's eyes is human. Just don't lose sight of the person as a whole.

I don't counsel on a regular basis ( sometimes I need counselling myself :)), so if this comes out garbled, I do apologize. I wish you the best in work and life. It's been great meeting my fellow bloggers, and I hope to have dinner with the others sometime ( after I've moved house! ).

Over and out.

Thursday Morning

For want of a more creative title. :) Let's see, 8-4 shift, pretty tired, lots of cases in resus, one of whom needed intubation for low BP / fast AF / ?CVA. Another patient, a 14-year-old Chinese girl, downed 15 tablets of Paracetamol and refuses to say why. Fellow with hypoglycemia projectile vomits repeatedly and exhibits an acute confusional state even after his hypocount normalizes post-IV Dextrose -- urgent CT head shows a whopping right subdural. Couple of nursing home inmates with the usual poor appetite / fever presentation. 26-year-old Burmese prisoner with an incarcerated right inguinal hernia. Yep, just another day in resus. It's good to be back. :P

So last night's Blogger Dinner #2 was cool. Met 2 more fellow writers, plus one I'd already dined with last week. One blogger turns out to be someone I've known for quite a while, so finding out was a pleasant surprise. Conversation was stimulating, the food tasty, and a Blogger Dinner #3 is in the cards for today ( though I can't make it, with profuse apologies -- my mom's gonna kill me if I don't start packing ).

Blogger meetups can be quite addictive, heh heh. ;) Certain blogs are already daily reading fare for me, but meeting the authors in person is always an eye-opener. Even if it's someone like Xiaxue. :P No, I didn't meet her, though it may very well turn out to be quite fun if it ever happened. Okay, re-minisce disagrees. :D

Only 3 other people witnessed an "event" last night. Not too sure if you guys noticed or felt a shift in the mood, but I thought there was a change, and would give anything to know what the expression on my face was at that particular moment. One fellow blogger -- the one who turned out to be someone I know quite well -- mentioned something about someone, which caught me completely off-guard and later resulted in a short ?awkward silence. Wasn't awkward for me, but might have been for the rest. Anyhow, for your info, I haven't related this piece of news to anyone else, not even my mom, whom I'm sure would love to know. I thought about emailing a close friend -- a guy I've known for almost 20 years -- to maybe vent a bit, but realized I didn't have anything to unload.

Driving home after the dinner, I thought about the news at length, feeling a myriad of emotions, none of which I could actually define. The best I can come up with is: contentment. Things turned out well after all, despite the pain, anger and disillusion. It wasn't something unexpected either, though the process of forgiving is still ongoing. Throughout those 30 minutes on the way home, however, the one sentiment I had was how both our lives had indeed turned out the way we'd hoped, albeit in different ways, and with different people, and it was... OKAY. No anger. No hatred. Just... CLOSURE.

I once wrote to this person years ago, saying I had achieved closure just by finding out the truth despite all the cover-ups and lies. I was wrong. But last night, cruising home and listening to the radio, I finally got it. And when I reached home and played back my recording of American Idol 3 ( yes yes, I can't live without it :)), I didn't dwell on the issue any further, and slept soundly.

I'm a bit surprised at my reaction. No sarcasm, no heated discussions with friends and relatives, no obsessing. People, I think I'm cured. :D

In other news, fellow Clay fans from Singapore touched down in LA 2 days ago, but failed to call me on my cell from the first Clay concert they attended. They've got two more to go, so pleeeeeease get back to me!
Oh well, even if I don't get to hear him "live" over the phone, they've promised to bring back tour merchandise. I've got my eye on the programme, key chains and T-shirts.

So somebody's flying back to London this weekend. Time for everyone else's lives to return to normal, heh heh.

Frustration

Am I an FON-attracting magnet, &*$%#@??? ( FON = Full Of Nonsense, almost always applicable to patients +/- their annoying relatives or friends ).

10 minutes short of 3am, and I'm faced with another patient who isn't happy that she had to pay $65 for Nothing. Nothing, I presume, means (1) no medication, (2) not enough attention from the doctor, and (3) less than 15 minutes of chat-time.

Young woman in her early 20s, already seen twice by her GP for the flu, then developed an ?allergic reaction to "some pill". Claims it manifested as facial swelling, but during her first visit here yesterday night, she didn't bring the culprit medication, couldn't even tell me its name, and had completely normal vitals and physical exam. I told her to go to her GP later this morning because he'd already seen here previously, and is obviously more familiar with whatever meds he prescribed.

Patient returns at 2:30am, this time lugging a small plastic bag of meds and asking to see me again. I gamely go through everything and find out that Voltaren ( an NSAID ) is the main suspect, but that she'd already been instructed to stop it almost 2 days ago. The GP had even started her on the correct dose of Prednisolone for her allergy. Her friend kept insisting the patient's face is different from before, even though she's always appeared round-cheeked ( I looked at her IC photo, for pete's sake! ). Again, I advise them to see the GP because he saw her before the "allergy" set in, and is the best person to gauge how severe the "facial swelling" is. They kept blaming the GP, saying his medicine is lousy, etc. I told them they were wrong, that he's started her on the appropriate treatment and so on, but they didn't seem to care.

Finally, they hinted that they wanted a refund of the ER fees. I just refused to comment, after which they stormed out, with the friend saying "Hospital doctors are useless."

Complaint #2 on its way. Watch for it.

Which reminds me, I still need to answer Complaint #1.
Weak Humour in the midst of... I don't know anymore. Haha.

Random Musings

Off-days will do this to you. That and 2 morning hours wasted waiting in the condo for the Singtel technician to hook up a second phone line. 9-11am my eye. He didn't show up till 10:35am, by which time I was getting an ulcer thanks to the Singtel operator, who kept disregarding my "When the heck is the guy coming?" question and hitting me with useless "What seems to be the problem with the line?" comebacks. Glad that's over and done with.

Nothing much happened yesterday. Got a haircut, arranged yet another blogger get-together ( wow, they rhyme :)), watched a video recording of "Minority Report" and found a major glitch that was quite annoying, especially since I have immense respect for Steven Spielberg's work. Do you want to know what it is?

*Spoiler alert if you haven't seen it yet.*


In one tense scene, Lamar ( this old fellow who founded and heads the pre-crime department ) shoots Colin Farrell's character in the chest. Shocking, yes, but as I thought about it some more, I realized that the pre-cogs didn't predict it. But then again, is it because Agatha was being dragged around by John Anderton ( Tom Cruise ) at the time? After she was returned to the lab, she and the other two predicted that Lamar would kill Anderton. So does this crime prediction thing work only when all 3 of them are together?
I guess I could rewind and check this out for myself, but I'm pretty sure at least one of the readers here can provide an answer. Thanks in advance, by the way. :)

I'm feeling quite rejuvenated, even though I had only one full day off work. It being a Monday was definitely an added incentive, heh heh. :D I'm now on night again, with no idea what my April 1st shift is, but it's an "all-star team" this evening -- me, plus a very experienced senior MO, a more junior guy who's really nice and works hard, and the sweetest registrar anyone could ever ask for. Must volunteer to stay in resus all night, haha.

A visit to the SNEC with my mom for her eye appointment this afternoon was... interesting. Her surgeon happens to be the SNEC director. His reputation as an excellent ophthalmologist, however, is well-known, and he performed nothing short of a miracle with my mom's complicated condition. But he's also a man of few words, maybe a bit gruff at times, so people tend to tip-toe around him, including myself. :) He was in a good mood today, though. My mom insists that he recognizes me because of my affiliation with the SMA News, Sensory, and occasional ranting emails to the SMC, and is pretty sure he spotted me standing silently by the door to his room as he examined her. I really can't say, 'cos I was dressed casually and probably not looking doctor-ish in t-shirt, jeans and slippers, but before we left, he said, "Thank you very much" to us, which has never happened before in the 18 months we've known him. My mom thinks it has something to do with my blog entries -- ie. the ones where I blasted the Forum for printing incorrect accusations directed against the SNEC. How he could've found out about them, I really don't know. Whether he alluded to my writing when he said "Thank you" -- could be a long shot. In any case, my mom and I were pleasantly surprised, and greatly appreciate it. :)

And speaking of writing, while driving to the hospital just now, my med school interview suddenly popped into my head. ( I'd earlier dreamt about resuscitating a major trauma patient during an afternoon nap -- must be the nonya fried rice I ate for lunch. :))
A member of the panel -- whose name tag I never read 'cos I was so nervous -- asked about my JC civics tutor's testimonial, which mentioned how letters of mine had been published in both local and foreign print media. He then queried if I'd continue writing once I'd become a full-fledged doctor. My answer was yes, then he replied, "What if you don't have the time to do so?" My response: "Then I'll make sure I find the time." I'm glad I fulfilled that promise. I wonder if the interviewer in question remembers our conversation?

I shall end today's entry with an explanation that re-minisce has been asking for: Why did I think he ( re-minisce ) would look like my ex?

It's simple. And Re-m, don't take this the wrong way. The reason is: your style of writing is a lot like his, and to be fair, my ex has an affinity for language ( both English and Mandarin ). We met through the Internet after all, and I was first drawn by his words, not knowing what he looked like till more than a year later, when he finally introduced himself to me. Daily phone conversations thereafter somehow never captured the magic of our numerous email exchanges, but he did write me some lovely cards and letters ( the latter during a short elective stint in China ). I even kept these for a time after the breakup, though I detested him thoroughly. I guess I did so because they were, in fact, beautiful missives reflecting everything I'd ever hoped for, even if that dream was ultimately shattered. ( FYI, I chucked them out eventually. :))

I've read re-minisce's prose for quite a while now. His entries about a certain female from his past are some of his best, and not unlike what my ex once penned. This, I suppose, is the only parallel I draw between you two, but it somehow made me think there'd also be a physical resemblance, which there isn't. Which, I repeat, is a good thing. :P

Funny how Urgh and its various hybrids have a habit of showing up whenever I say something unflattering about the ex. Hmmm...

Here's something funny the ER nurses told me the other night.
Nasty NSboy to my ER chief : I DEMAND to speak to your supervisor!

:D

Yo, Xena!

Sorry about the hollering. I just realized I won't be checking my email tomorrow as I'm off ( my first rest-day in 3 weeks, ugh ), so please liaise with re-minisce about the meetup. I'll be back online on Tuesday night, when I do another 9-8 shift.

What's a Valkyrie?

Okay, my vocab isn't as powerful as re-minisce's, I see. So I checked with Google, and came up with this. Err, should I feel flattered? No wonder he expected me to be taller ( even though most Singaporean women are around the 1.65m mark ). Oh by the way, the "good thing you don't look like my ex" is meant as a compliment. :)

More On The Complaint Letter

It sits unanswered in my pigeonhole -- though it mysteriously translocated to the one above mine sometime yesterday, before I found it and transferred it back where it belongs. Anyway, my department MOs love to share stories about complaints we receive, so it doesn't matter if such documents end up in the wrong slot. If there's anyone who can offer empathy, it's a fellow MO.

Reading through it - again - during my last night shift, this sentence jumped right out at me: "Complainant claims the doctor only lifted the patient's blouse", ie. I only eyeballed the lady, and didn't touch her. Right, so I documented a "soft, non-tender abdomen", which either means I DID feel her tummy, or that I completely fabricated the findings. Remember the Forum letters last month, especially the one regarding SGH? The patient's son's account was totally different from the doctor's documentation, just as it is now. Funny how a measly $65 can make someone so severely myopic. And untruthful.

Lots of news in the Sunday Times today -- Catholic priest scandal, Heartland Sugar-Daddy exploits, Steve Chia email interview, and for the cherry-on-top, a transvestite on the front page of the Life! section. Who needs The New Paper when we have The Straits Times eh?

On the way to work, I had my radio tuned to Power 98, and overheard the DJ reading a list of Top 10 professions men find sexy in women. Included were "teacher" and "actress". Doctors and nurses were at #2, just a spot below models, can you believe it? Who the heck compiles these things? Totally wrong lah.

Then the DJ talked a bit about physical attributes, which got me pondering a bit ( what else can one do while driving, right? ). So my thankfully short list is as follows ( in no particular order ):

1. Physique: as long as he isn't fat, I'm happy.
2. Height: as long as he isn't shorter than I am, it's okay.
3. Hands: There's something about short, stubby fingers which I find extremely hard to accept. So yes, long and slender digits get my vote. Also helps if the guy uses those hands to good effect, ie. if he's an artist, a surgeon, a musician, or all three. :)

I'm not exactly a "face" person. If you're good-looking, I can certainly appreciate it, but if you're not, but have what I like in terms of 1, 2 and 3, plus intellect and personality, then I'm hooked. My ex wasn't handsome at all. To expound on Xena's assessment, he was bookish, pallid ( his own words, mind you ) and scrawny. If he'd been faithful as well, I may be married with 2 kids by now.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention #4 -- Voice / Manner of Speaking. Quite a big factor for me, though I don't really know why. I can't describe what it is exactly, but for a taste, I greatly enjoy listening to actors Kevin Spacey, Kevin Kline and John Malkovich. To date, my ex has one of the nicest pipes I've ever heard. A doctor-turned-SIA pilot friend does too. As well as -- get ready -- re-minisce. ;)

Be-Urgh: enough fuel for your little bonfire? :P

We will resume normal programming after "someone" has returned to London.

The Night's Still Young

After a year-long posting in CGH A&E, I can tell you with 100% confidence that the crowd will come only after 12am. Which is why I'm going to write this entry now before I get swamped with who-knows-what later. And just for fun, let's guess what I'll see tonight, shall we? My bets are on:

(1) NS boys who'd like an MC for Saturday, so they can have a long weekend off.
(2) NS boys who went out partying and got bashed up, or are suffering from some alcohol-related gastrointestinal symptom ( e.g. vomiting usually ).
(3) assault cases, often alcohol-induced.
(4) other acts of violence ( rioting / gang fights is pretty hot in the East, I notice ).
(5) a whole school of teenage glue-sniffers nabbed in a police raid then hauled here for blood toulene levels.
(6) traumas from drunk driving, bar fights and what-not.
(7) the occasional middle-of-the-night asthma / COLD attack, myocardial infarct, drug overdose and food poisoning.

Hmm, looks like the typical day shift attendees, but with only 3 MOs and 1 senior running the entire show with little sleep and lots of extra stress. And people ask why I love the ER so much. :)

So a few readers are asking: Have I met re-minisce yet?The answer is yes, but seeing that he didn't say anything about the meeting on his blog, I shall follow suit, which will no doubt drive many people up a wall, which is fine with both of us. :D I will say this though: I always had this impression that he'd look a bit like my ex -- but he doesn't, which is a good thing. ;)

Just saw a 75-year-old lady with classical signs and symptoms of either carcinoma of the pancreas or the ampulla of Vater. Obstructive jaundice, marked loss of weight, with a gigantic non-tender gallbladder ( Courvoisier's law ). Very sweet woman, accompanied by an equally pleasant daughter-in-law. During my years in the medical profession, I've noticed how some of the nicest people tend to get the worst diseases ( just had a middle-aged guy with psoriasis and gout in my consult room, who treated me with so much respect I started to feel embarrassed ). No wonder 6 months in haematology back in 2001 almost induced an emotional breakdown. Hats off to haematologists and oncologists everywhere.

It's only 10:45pm...

Get This...

The complaint letter popped up in my pigeonhole today. Remember the lady with the colostomy? Her daughter made noise with the admin department after I refused to budge, so now I have to write a formal explanation.

Points raised are similar to what she said in my room last night, but here's something I didn't realize: the daughter who returned asking for the consultation fee to be waived is DIFFERENT from the one who actually came with the patient . Am I the only one who finds this odd, albeit in a suspicious way?

And the letter continues: "Complainant says maid ( who was present during consultation ) can be a "witness" ( I assume to the "fact" that I "didn't examine" the patient )". Sorry, I find that a little "dubious".

Anyway, I'll deal with the issue later. ( Bet Urgh's mood just went up a notch, heh :))

Night shift yet again! But I'm on with very nice, competent people, and it's a pretty quiet period, so I'm quite happy. Wish I didn't have to keep missing American Idol though. Looks like this week's theme is "country music". Did Michael Buble guest judge?

Song List March 23

Had a hectic day. Went to Ikea to finalize all the furnishings, and that place is just absolutely awesome! It ranks as No. 2 on my list of mind-boggling shopping areas in Singapore ( the first being Takashimaya, which I visit at least twice a month -- though mostly to eat, walk around and buy presents rather than to shop for myself :P ). Our interior decorating consultant, Evelyn, is such a nice person. Very patient, has good taste, even pushed a trolley around the basement to help us pick out quilt covers, bedsheets and cushions. Her layout design is nothing short of amazing. I was a little worried about not having enough storage space, since the unit is quite small, but she managed to utilize all the available space, and even came up with her own mix-and-match combos for the TV consoles. Extremely impressive.
We've still got a ways to go -- lights, curtains, arranging when to deliver and fix everything. I was so tired when I got home this afternoon I just zonked out on the bed for 2 hours ( even had to go grocery shopping after the Ikea visit ). Then tomorrow, it's cleaning time for the condo, followed by a get-together with a small group of medical friends. Better take more vitamin supplements. :)

At least something perked me up lots today! I got my copy of Clay Aiken's The Way / Solitaire single in the mail, thanks to friends at the local fan club. In a word, Solitaire just struck me speechless. I played it on the way to the hospital, and it's just... absolutely...unbelievable. The range, that mind-blowing voice, all that raw emotion! My favourite song on Measure of a Man is the title track, and for fav cover, Bridge Over Troubled Water hands down -- till now. Clay's Solitaire has eclipsed The Carpenters' original, and Neil Sedaka himself already termed it "forever a Clay Aiken song". If you think his recent AI3 performance is a good gauge, I say "You ain't heard nothin' yet!". The CD recording is more than 5 whole minutes long, which works out to 4 repeats each for my journey to and from work. :P It's just beautiful beyond words. I've run out of vocabulary, sorry. :D
Anyhow, I hear the shops are already selling out fast. Grab your copy quickly!

And in keeping with my recent habit of linking to interesting stories in The Straits Times, here's my pick for today:

Catholic Priest's $5.1 million Scandal

My view? If he was truly "investing for the church", he could've at least done so using a separate, more official bank account, instead of his own. I mean, that's what I would've done.

No comment about his relationship with the 2 women. So obvious it's practically self-explanatory.

Time to see yet another patient. They're all showing up past midnight, sheesh.

I'm Officially Drooling

People in my department have been "selling" this product to me all week, and I've been converted!

The Object of my Desire

I saw 2 versions "in the flesh", and can't wait to try it out someday soon, perhaps at the showroom in Wheelock Place. I need to upgrade from my chunky Dell laptop, with it many different detachable drives and tendency to hang these past few months. It wasn't cheap either *grumble grumble*.

Oh well, I now know what USB ports, fire wires and DVD writers are. Really cool contraption, this! But won't be buying one till after my Part 2 exam. Will need a simple ( ie. cheap, heh heh ) digital camera as well, for collecting interesting pictures of X-rays, ECGs, patients, etc. Must start saving...

Re-minisce is due home anytime now. Have a safe trip! See you soon. :)

P.S.

I thought there wouldn't be anything work-related to write about today, but I was just proven wrong.

Old lady from nursing home with a colostomy post laparotomy for intestinal obstruction. Op performed years ago, and patient known to have constipation on and off. Brought in by daughter this morning for zero colostomy output for a day, but no vomiting or abdominal pain.

Just prior to entering my consultation room, the patient suddenly passes a large amount of green stool into the colostomy bag. Everyone's happy, including myself. Her abdomen is soft and non-tender ( I definitely palpated it ). Even her daughter is relieved and gladly takes her back to the nursing home.

At 1440hrs, the daughter returns. Without even knocking, she opens the door, sees that no-one's around, sits down next to me, and starts talking non-stop ( in Mandarin ).
"You know you saw my mom this morning? I had to pay $65, and nothing was actually done for her, which is unreasonable . You didn't even look at her, no medicine was prescribed..." before I ask her to "Wait! Can you give me your mother's IC number please?"

I remember the case easily after a check with the computer records.
The daughter continues.
"You didn't even touch her," she insists.
Was she dreaming?! "Of course I touched her. I EXAMINED her abdomen, don't you remember?"
"No, you just looked at her only what. $65 just like that? My family thinks it's unreasonable ."
"Look," I speak as calmly as I can, "if cost is such a concern, you could've brought her to the polyclinic or a private GP."
"But the nursing home told me to bring her here , because her medical records are in this hospital."
"Right, and may I remind you that I did examine your mother. I didn't prescribe any medication because she passed motion herself, and is already on laxatives from her surgeon." All of which I explained earlier, yeesh.
"But it isn't fair, blah blah blah."

I finally just keep quiet and stare at her in silence. Every time she argues, hoping I'll defend myself, I just nod, then another bout of... nothing. Does she expect me to cancel the consultation fee? Sorry, we only do that for very special cases. Before she left, I did tell her to bring her mother to the polyclinic or GP the next time something crops up.

What are the odds that this family making a ruckus over $65 for their mother's health owns handphones, computers and other gadgets that cost thousands of dollars? Bet they couldn't care less about that. :/

I didn't post anything yesterday because my grand total for the 8-4 shift ( on a Sunday, mind you ) was FIFTY . This is absolutely crazy... Was so tired I couldn't attend my friend's wedding dinner. Very sorry about that.

Monday morning has turned out to be better, believe it or not. Looks as if the locals are pre-empting their Monday blues by coming for MCs the day before the work-week starts, so they can sleep in and call in sick.

The abuse of ERs can't be something uniquely Singaporean, right? Other medical blogs I've visited complain about this too, whether it's the US or UK. What we need to do is raise the fees from the current $65-$80 to a whopping $200. And give the doctors the right to refuse to let certain patients utilize their CSC cards. Evil, yes, but I'm sure the government will thank us for helping them save money. Isn't that what politics is all about? But don't worry, something as sensitive as this will never happen. We'll just end up spending more time arguing with patients than actually treating them. Sigh... Oh well, there's always the cocked eyebrow with a subtle frown, followed by an uncomfortable silence, and some exaggerated exhaling on my part. :)

The conspiracy theory concerning Taiwan's new President is running amok. What do you make of that publicity shot of Chen Shui-bian getting stitched up? Looks pretty authentic to me, but I'd much prefer a live action video clip, close-up, in order to make proper judgement. Ah, Taiwan is always such wonderful news fodder. :D

And speaking of news fodder, check out this full-page article in the Home section of The Straits Times today, an excerpt of which is at this link:

Singaporean Men Flock To Batam

No wonder AIDS cases are on the rise here. One guy even claims his wife and daughter support his Batam visits, and know all about his Indonesian girlfriend, who's only 17 years old. The guy's age? 68. *shudder*

And in other news, Singapore's stepping up its security measures on MRT trains, no doubt prompted by the recent Madrid bombings which involved innocent-looking satchels stuffed with explosives left on commuter rail services.

Marshals on MRTs

Time magazine's March 22 issue has an editorial by Richard C. Clarke titled "The New Terrorist Threat". The following sentences put a new light on the current war against terror attacks:

"... in addition to placing more cameras on our train platforms, maybe we should be asking why the terrorists hate us. If we do not focus on the reasons for terrorism as well as the terrorists, the body searches accepted at airports may be only the beginning of life in our new fortress."

Singapore Airlines is featured in Time as well, with a glowing review of the long-haul flight between our nation and Los Angeles. I'm a horrible air-traveller, but reading the journalist's article made me actually WANT to get my butt on the plane. Hope I'll get a chance to do so in the near future. Am making my way through Europe for my next holiday. :)

Last but not least, here's something you should check out. If not for its writing, then DEFINITELY for its pictures.

The WetAss Chronicles

I'm starting to get a headache. Will take my leave early.

This has GOT to be the first time a police officer has ever annoyed me.

The incompetence of the police post near my old place doesn't count, of course. But that's in the past.

About half an hour ago, 2 officers brought in a lady who allegedly tried to kill herself by walking into oncoming traffic. She has depression and is on follow-up with a psychiatrist at NUH. She admits to suicidal intent, and told me she repeatedly told the officers to take her there instead of CGH, since it makes sense in view of her history. Of course, her request went unheeded. The form even stated "for psychiatric assessment" in black and white. I then told the staff sergeant-in-charge that if they want such an assessment, they have to take her to either IMH or NUH, as she will need admission and her doctor is at the latter anyhow. I typed up a memo and they left. No problem, right?

Wrong. The sergeant then returns and asks me to sign the form, saying they will take her back to the station then release her, and let her go to NUH on her own .
"Huh?" I said. "What if she kills herself AFTER you release her? She needs to be admitted, which is why you should bring her to NUH immediately ."
"Don't worry. Just sign the form and we'll handle the rest," replies the officer. I'm beginning to get suspicious.
"Well, your form states very clearly that you brought her here for a "psychiatric assessment", which wasn't performed. So I can't sign this."
The sergeant then whips out his pen and CANCELS THESE THREE WORDS. He looks miffed, and I'm momentarily stunned ( doesn't happen often, but it did this time ).
"Wait here," I say. Short walk to the resus room to consult my registrar, who then comes back with me, and deems it appropriate to sign the form, but with documentation of specific instructions regarding the NUH referral. I ignore the sergeant for the rest of the consultation, and painstakingly write everything down in the patient's computerized medical records. They'd better not implicate me if something bad happens to this poor lady.

I'm in consult this Saturday afternoon, with the consolation of at least getting some money for being stuck here on the weekend ( doing morning tomorrow, ugh ). Emergency medicine is fun, but not when you're a junior handling coughs and colds, or pesky NS boys and a whole string of glue sniffers and assault cases ( especially at 2am in the morning when you're flying solo ). Seniors get all the excitement, or more importantly, warranted, true emergencies. Hopefully I can get promoted soon...


Taiwan Election Day

Received news of President Chen Shui-Bian's gunshot wound last night after my shift, and looks like he's none the worse for it. Lucky bloke. :)

Taiwan's Chen casts vote day after being shot

Read about him in a recent issue of Time magazine, which painted him as quite the ideal politician, and strongly pro-independence. If you've watched Taiwanese parliament in action on TV before, you'd know about all the insult-hurling, punch-throwing and chair-smashing. Makes for such compelling footage that I actually saw these scenes on an episode of "World's Most Amazing Videos", heh heh. :D Gotta admire their passion. Singapore parliament is so dull in comparison -- each member waiting his/her turn to drone on and on for half an hour or more. We need to inject more life into local politics. You know, something along the lines of taking nude pictures of yourself in a waterfall. ;)

A quick check with ChannelNewsAsia during dinner in the staff pantry shows a neck-and-neck race in the polls. A nurse commented that President Chen's "assassination attempt" sounds a bit fishy. All I can say is, either the sniper is a lousy shot, or it was indeed staged. Which assassin aims for the abdomen??! Take a cue from the JFK incident -- that guy went straight for the head. Publicity stunt? Quite possible. Trust the Taiwanese to make all our lives a little bit more interesting. :P

I Miss NZ Part 2

Seems writing about it in my blog didn't help that much, haha!

Secret Garden's concert was really good, though nowhere near the best shows I've ever attended so far ( e.g. Robbie Williams, The Ten Tenors, Michael Jackson ). They definitely sound better on their albums, perhaps because they have the benefit of an actual full orchestra for backup, as opposed to a 6-piece band and some synthesizers on-stage.

The Esplanade Concert Hall was almost fully packed, mostly yuppies and people in their 40s and 50s. Met a fellow ex-clinical group mate and his girlfriend. I think I last saw him about 4 years ago, but he still looks the same. Catching up was nice, and he also asked me about the LOTR tour article in Sensory. Says he will definitely join Wellington Rover when he goes to NZ, hopefully at the end of this year. :)

Anyway, back to the show. The first half was rather slow, as they played songs that aren't familiar to most of us. It only started to pick up near the end of the first hour, when a pixie-faced Irish lass ( I can't spell her name, but it sounded like "Seersha" ) joined them, plucking a harp and wowing us all with her beautiful, surreal voice. She later sang the lead for "Nocturne", and sounds just as wonderful as the CD version, in case you'd like to know exactly what I'm talking about. I especially love the piece "Green Waves", a whimsical and haunting melody about missing home. For me, it brought back such vivid images of NZ, with its awesome mountain ranges and massive lakes. This young lady's vocals have a very ethereal, pure quality to them, and in my opinion, puts Enya to shame. Let HER sing "May It Be" from The Fellowship of the Ring! She'll do a much better job with it!

Fionnuala Sherry, the blonde-curled violinist, kept audiences awake with her skill and mini-jigs, prancing around the stage like a frisky pony ( that's a compliment, by the way. She didn't look young but has a lithe figure and agile moves. :)). She also did most of the talking, giving short intros for certain songs, like "Hymn To Hope", which is dedicated to victims of the Columbine school shooting, and "Nocturne", which clinched them the trophy in the Eurovision contest 10 years ago, catapulting them to international stardom.

The highlight of the evening was obviously "You Raise Me Up", an uplifting song about "a higher power", regardless of your religion. When composer / pianist Rolf Lovland mentioned Josh Groban ( who did a cover version with the pair ), a very audible murmur emanated from the audience, as I'm sure everyone knows who THAT is! :) The piece was done by "Seersha" instead, and a female voice certainly made for an interesting few minutes. Still, YRMU is clearly tailor-made for Josh's rich, deep vocals.

The evening culminated in a thumping finale, thanks to the synthesizers taking centrestage, adding much oomph to an otherwise acoustic sound. "Nocturne" ( one of the encore songs ) sounded breath-taking, and the entire hall reverberated with a full "string section", ie. pre-recorded album cuts that were cleverly incorporated into the live performance. The finale is a piece that I don't know, but again, the sound effects were amazing, and had everyone on their feet. Rolf graciously handed his bouquet of flowers to a lady in the front row ( Fionnuala already had one of her own ), and promptly received a hug and two appreciative kisses on the cheeks.

It was indeed quite a magical night, and I'd just like to mention that the lighting is quite spectacular -- I've never seen rainbow-coloured spotlights before! Secret Garden is a very warm, friendly bunch ( the band members love to shake to the music as well, really cute ), and their message of peace and universal tolerance and love is one that we can aspire to. Bravo!

Maybe it's a coincidence, but there was a feature on Josh Groban in Life! today. Here's the link:

Josh In The Straits Times

Important sentence! -- "Next up is Asia, where he plans to perform around October this year." WOOHOO!!! :D


Clay Aiken On American Idol 3

Please tell me you caught it, or I'll give you a lecture. :P I watched the recording after I got home last night, and all I can say is "Wow, WOW, WOOOOW!" First, he looked really terrific ( turtle-neck sweater, cool suit, super-spiky hair ), was all smiles as always, and nailed Solitaire. And I mean, NAILED IT. Glory note and everything! He has never sounded better!
His The Way / Solitaire CD single has been officially released in Singapore, though I won't be able to collect it till next week. Neil Sedaka must be so proud. :)

As for the AI3 finalists, I've changed my list of favourites. They are currently:

Jon Peter Lewis
George Huff
Diana Demargo
Jasmine Trias
LaToya London

Jon Peter now has an actual nickname, though nothing fancy -- just a simple JPL. He's extremely sweet, and said he originally wanted to be a paediatrician, 'cos he "likes kids a lot". Awwww. His family seems like such a fun-loving, warm-hearted group, and yes, he did a rousing cover of "Drift Away". Simon Cowell even called him "the dark horse to win this competition". I'm rooting for him all the way -- I picked Clay last year and turned out to be right, so let's see what happens this time. :)

George has a lovable persona and a great voice. How great? If he'd been in AI2 and squared off with Clay and Ruben, Ruben wouldn't have made it to the top 2. THAT'S how great. :)

Diana is 16 years old, but has lungs that defy all laws of physics. :D Powerhouse with a capital P. Amy Adams, aka the Celine Dion wannabe, faltered badly and was in the bottom three, but may redeem herself later on. Hard to say at this point, but Diana is one tough cookie to beat.

Jasmine, all of 17, is another major contender. Beautiful smile, gorgeous voice, while LaToya is consistent and classy.

John Stevens has something , but can't seem to find ways to capitalize on it. I think his main drawback is his age and inexperience, which hinder his ability to interprete non-jazz songs and make them sound good. His vocals aren't the problem. I feel that perhaps he's too nervous and shy to really let it all hang out, world be damned, you know? He loosens up so nicely in the group performances, so I hope America will keep him for another few weeks and let him have the chance to shine.

Matt Rogers is a crowd pleaser, but vocals-wise, he needs to choose material that can help show that off a little more. Loved his rendition of "Hard To Handle" though, complete with cheeky winks and lotsa grooooovin'. :D

No, I haven't forgotten Fantasia. She definitely has "it", but I wonder if American Idol is the right place for her. My eyebrows were raised when I found out she's a 19-year-old single mother of a 2-year-old girl. Even stranger is the fact that she's a devout Christian and her grandmother's a pastor. I found that all a bit odd, but far be it from me to judge her lah. People make mistakes. It's only human, though certain mistakes are more forgiveable than others, of course. ;) I just worry that her prominence in this competition will make her a less-than-ideal role model for the youngsters. What if they think single motherhood is okay, just because Fantasia is cool? What will she decide to do with her family situation? Will she play it down and avoid the issue, or speak up and caution others against it? Or worst of all, will she say it's okay to be an unmarried parent? If it's the latter, I won't like it one bit. Call me conservative, but there have got to be limits somewhere.

Anyhow, I'm relieved that Bulgarian wailer Leah has been booted off. I was worried that she'd be another Carmen Rasmussen -- the pretty blondie with the, er, weird voice on AI2. This year's group of finalists is excellent. It's gonna be a close race.

Whoa, long post. :) Shall end off with a short account of a case that came to our ER on Thursday morning. I didn't see him, but my fellow MO and the consultant-on-call did, and it effectively illustrates the term "What a waste".

21-year-old guy, drives a nice car, had more than $3000 in cash in his pocket. Intoxicated yet got behind the wheel, girlfriend in tow. Crashed into a tree, mortally wounded, died shortly after arriving in the ER. Girlfriend survived. Family devastated. Girlfriend sobbing in the minor operating theatre, with only a superficial laceration to the scalp. Both smelled strongly of alcohol.
During such times, I always ask one question: WHY???

Thanks for reading. Have a good weekend!

Sigh...

First, Clay Aiken's The Way video failed to appear on MTVAsia tonight, thanks to a very strange "special repeat telecast" of the embarrassing MTVAsia Awards 2004 ( those Cupids still give me nightmares ). I have no idea if they'll screen the TRL episode in question tomorrow night, or skip it altogether for some reason. What gives?

Second, I'm on night shift - again. The same night as "CSI" and the first round of the AI3 finals too, aargh! Looks like I'll have to read recaps off the Net. Won't have any time to watch the recording tomorrow.

Something upbeat for all the docs out there. Got this email from a non-medical reader regarding the latest SMA News issue, and he had this to say (after all my complaining in the "Alternative Roles For ER Physicians" piece :)):

"Well Dr. Oh, I for one still have the utmost respect and trust for doctors because to me, you are all doing God's work of easing the suffering of mankind and that is a noble cause!"

On behalf of the medical community of Singapore, which gets blasted regularly by the press, and even more frequently by patients and their unreasonable relatives, we thank you. Also, please help spread the word. :)

A fellow doc who locums in my department asked about my Sensory LOTR tours article, so now I'm feeling very sad 'cos I miss NZ a lot . It's a pretty slow night so far, so don't mind if I just talk about my favourite place for a bit.

Queenstown, South Island

Words can't really do it justice, so get ready for a whole list of links.

Destination Queenstown Guide

Queenstown Photo Gallery

When I first arrived, its beauty literally took my breath away. It was summertime, so the place was swarming with tourists and native Kiwis who'd dropped by for some R&R. Queenstown is very pretty -- quaint and bohemian, boasting a vibrant nightlife, terrific restaurants, excellent hotels, a gorgeous jetty surrounded by The Remarkables mountain ranges, lovely people, and of course, its star attraction: the huge, sparkling Lake Wakatipu.

My parents and I stayed at the Lakefront Copthorne, which believe it or not, is only a few minutes' stroll away from the water's edge. No fences or barricades, mind you, so one afternoon, following an exhilarating jet boat ride down Dart River, I had some free time to grab an apple and my journal, then walk to the lake and sit only inches away from the lapping waves, munching away and scribbling in my diary. Later, I took my slippers off to dip my feet in the icy cool water. To my left were The Remarkables, looking almost surreal in their magnificence. The TSS Earnslaw, an old red-and-white steamboat, chugged along in the distance, while a parasailor glided past. It was peaceful and quiet, the weather perfect, and I couldn't remember the last time I'd been so happy. Honestly. I still dream of that afternoon sometimes. It sure helps when I'm faced with 40 patients, 30 of whom are NS boys or people with conditions that don't warrant a visit to the ER.

Food-wise, try Beach Street, which houses lots of Asian restaurants. The Mall, a lovely al fresco stretch, has many Italian outlets that serve gigantic portions of steak and lamb ( didn't try those, but my eyes almost popped out when I saw what the patrons were eating ). Then there's The Pig & Whistle, a very jolly Irish pub that's packed with revellers every single night. The boat jetty is perfect for post-dinner walks. I personally greatly enjoyed feeding the many ducks and geese. They're very tame, so they'll come right up to you and daintily pick pieces of bread from your fingers. Another activity I loved was eating Tip Top ice-cream while standing at the jetty and just taking in the scenery. Nothing more perfect than that! :D


Outskirts of Queenstown

1. Glenorchy

Check out this website.

This is where Dart River is located. I wrote about this in the Sensory magazine, and still get a rush just thinking about it! Amazing beyond belief, and yes, it features film locations for the LOTR trilogy. A must if you're a fan, and even better if you like high-powered jet boat rides and cheeky boat drivers. :)

2. Fiordland

Click on this link!

We took a full-day tour ( 12 hours! ) through the majestic Fiordland National Park, en route to Milford Sound. In a nutshell, it's just fantastic from start to finish! If only I could post my photos online! Picture shimmering rivers, lush greenery, snow-capped mountains, clear blue skies, a thundering waterfall ensconced in a forest, snow from a glacier piled next to the road ( which the coach drivers let you scoop up )... the list is endless.

Then there's the Milford Sound.

I suspect the various tour companies deliberately keep the really spectacular pictures off the Internet, 'cos what I saw for myself is so much better. The 2-hour ferry ride is guaranteed to thrill, whether a result of the breath-taking surroundings, the gigantic waterfall ( which the ferry will ease up to so everyone gets sprayed ), the sun-bathing wild fur seals, or simply standing on the top deck and almost getting blown off by the strong winds. The picture of myself which I submitted to Sensory was taken on one of the lower decks, but you can still see my hair flying all over the place. Gorgeous place, the Milford Sound.

Sigh. All this reminiscing has made me realize I'm back in Singapore, sitting in a freezing ER at 3am in the morning. :( But I'll always have my memories of NZ, with its unparalleled beauty, wonderful people, and mouth-watering cuisines. More updates another day. Time for me to get a cup of Milo then take a short nap. :)

P.S. Just saw the song list for last night's AI3 episode. Am tempted to watch the show after my night shift, but I can't! Need to sleep, 'cos my afternoon's going to be packed with errands, followed by the concert in the evening. Oh well. Important reminder: Clay will appear on tonight's results show to sing Solitaire. Something no-one should ever miss! :)

90 minutes more before my shift ends, and there's a big possibility I'll hit 40 cases before going home. Sigh... Since when has Tuesday been NS-boy-with-nonsensical-complaints Day? Saw one with knee pain for 2 years !!!??? And a whole lot of coughs and colds, a few of whom tried to pull fast ones on me by insisting they have no camp MOs -- totally bogus, for your info. One even said his camp MO told him to go to the hospital to get the MC, 'cos certs from polyclinics and GPs won't be entertained. His symptoms? "Feeling tired", coupled with an over-protective mother who seemed more unwell than the patient himself. She's a nice lady, but the boy is so obviously spoiled rotten. Taking Panadeine and claims his headache is killing him, yet refuses admission. Looks perfectly normal. Aaarrrghghghghgh! *pulls hair out* Thank goodness a fellow A&E MO ( my year-mate from med school ) came over to give a short lecture, 'cos my friend was indeed a "camp MO" when he served in the army, and knows all the NS boys' tricks. Trying to exploit an ignorant female, eh? Big mistake. ( Bet the guys call me foul names after leaving the room, but oh well. :))

On to happier things.
Clay Aiken will be singing his latest single, Solitaire, on this week's episode of "American Idol 3". I don't know whether it'll be the first night or the results show, but have your VCRs ready, 'cos the word on the Net is that it's a phenomenal cover. :) BMG Singapore will receive copies later this week, and I've got mine reserved, thanks to the Clay Aiken Singapore fan club. His new video for The Way will also be shown on MTVAsia either today or tomorrow, according to friends who are following the TRL programme. This screens from 8-9pm daily, so watch for it.

Then of course, Michael Buble is rumoured to appear next week, which I'm looking forward to. However, he seems a little new to the music scene to be picked as a judge. Thought they usually choose veterans?

2 more days till the Secret Garden performance at the Esplanade. Have been playing their Songs From A Secret Garden CD in my car. Absolutely beautiful. Will review it the day after. :)

Saw yet another young borderline hypochondriac. People can be so hypersensitive about their health sometimes... Hope I'll see less of these once I turn registrar. Tak boleh tahan.

It's 3am, mid-way through my night shift, and I'm officially miffed. The past 5 1/2 hours were perfectly okay, but in the past 30 minutes, I saw 2 cases who caused me a LOT of irritation.

Case #1: Indian male who's drunk, arrested for disorderly behaviour and brought in for blood alcohol levels. Very confrontational to the point of police officers not thinking it advisable to uncuff him for venepuncture. Before he's taken away, he lets loose on me ( apparently because I missed on the first try when poking him, but he was wiggling like crazy, which didn't make it easy ), saying, "I'll come look for you (someday)." in a menacing tone. Where the heck did THAT come from?! If anything does happen to me, here's a nice juicy suspect for you.

Case #2: Came right after Case #1, yeesh. Husband and wife. Wife having food poisoning, slumped in the wheelchair, refuses to open her eyes, mumbles when questioned. Husband not happy that he had to wait a total of 15 minutes , while I was sorting out a string of police cases ( 5 in total, including Case #1 ). When he walks in, I ask what happened, to which his reply is a rude "Look at her!" He then keeps quiet and gives me the "you should be able to tell just by eyeballing my wife" expression, which I don't get very often, I admit, but dredges up all sorts of horrible memories when it does happen. I set a plug for her quickly and shoo her off to observation. She'll most likely recover, but I don't expect any thank-you's from these two.

The nurses tell me that earlier this evening, a little girl was brought in for drowning. She didn't make it, and seems she lives just across the road from CGH. Her parents took it well, unlike some relatives who wail and turn violent. I've never been directly involved with a paediatric death. Even when I was in the paediatric oncology ward back in my houseman year, the kids in my care somehow stayed alive. I guess most of the deaths occurred in the intensive care unit, which had only medical officers and other more senior doctors in charge. I may have to deal with such cases when I go to KKH Children's A&E next. Not looking forward to it.

I've discovered how important sleep is to me. Snoozed as much as I could today, and still feel tired. Most doctors I've met agree that if they had to choose between sleep and food, they'd pick sleep anyday. My mom, however, disagrees, so she wakes me up to eat my 3 meals, whether I'm able to get out of bed or not ( I usually get up, mostly 'cos she cooks really well :)). I don't know how married couples with kids in my profession do it. I can't even muster the energy to play with my cat, let alone care for a husband and a child.

Just watched this week's episode of "C.S.I.", and wanted to talk about it a little 'cos it's my favourite so far, and extremely bizarre. The premise was that of a murder involving a man dressed in a meticulously hand-sewn raccoon suit, which later led the CSI team to a convention where lots of people dress up in animal costumes and partake in really weird activities, one of which is a "fur pile", complete with "scritching" and "yiffing". You can find out what yiffing means on Google. Can't tell you what it is here or I'll be accused of being obscene. :P

Anyhow, it was a real eye-opener filled with witty one-liners. E.g. "So we have to ask the perennial question: Why did the man dressed in a raccoon suit cross the road?", and "Shot then hit by a car. Bad day -- even for a raccoon." Well, it's funnier when you actually watch it. :D

Time for me to get some shuteye. Good night.

Awashed With Relief

The course is over, woohoo! It's been a tiring week, but also very enriching and totally enjoyable. And yes, my Oxford Handbook of Emergency Medicine now bears Dr. Robin Illingworth's autograph. As Gollum would say, "My precioussssss..." :)

One thing I noticed about the A&E exam format is how diverse emergency medicine truly is. I mean, in the vivas and clinicals, we can face anything from medical to surgical / orthopaedic to paediatric cases, and are expected to discuss a broad spectrum of conditions in pretty great detail, including obscure things such as luxatio erecta ( go look it up :)). This is in contrast to your conventional internal med / surgical exams, where you sorta know what to expect going in. For us, examining an abdomen can be anything from an enlarged inflamed gallbladder ( surgical ) to a uterine fibroid ( OBGYN ) to polycystic kidneys ( medical ). Quite scary if you think about it!

One of the reasons I enjoy emergency medicine so much is because of the diverse mixture of cases, and how we use concise history-taking and a quick but directed physical examintion, +/- simple yet carefully ordered tests to delineate the patient's problem(s) and decide on disposition ASAP. It's a tough task, and the ER is always hectic, so seniors often have their hands full with a few cases at any one time, with junior docs coming over to ask them questions or show them X-rays. I'm a little daunted by the prospect of turning registrar, but it's an unavoidable rite of passage, so I'll make sure I'm prepared for it. Must always remember not to lose my temper. :)

And speaking of multi-tasking, a few hours ago I had a major case of running around when 3 not-so-simple cases came into resus in quick succession. I had an old lady with a scalp laceration and an arterial spurt, a severe asthma, and an 18-year-old thalassemia major / poorly controlled diabetes with clinical signs of meningitis. I just kept going from patient to patient, setting lines, ordering meds, taking cultures, catheterizing, giving antibiotics, tracing blood tests, calling the registrar upstairs to expedite admission. At the end of it all, I just slumped in my chair and hoped I didn't forget anything in the whole mess. I'm really tired right now, which is why I'm a little worried. :)

I heard that 22 people applied for 9 emergency medicine traineeship spots this year. Whoa, that's amazing! Looks like it's gaining popularity, which is good 'cos we need more ER physicians. The best scenario is to have all ERs run purely by trained specialists. You can bet the number of complaint letters will drop drastically if this happens. No more ammo for you, Straits Times! :P


Two of my predictions for American Idol 3 wild card winners turned out to be right -- ie. George Huff and Jon Peter Lewis. The former is such a likeable person, a la Ricky Smith from AI2. Jon, on the other hand, has prompted me to nickname him "spark plug", a term I chose because of his very dynamic personality and on-stage antics. Did you catch him singing Elvis's "A Little Less Conversation"? It's a difficult song to pull off, but he did it effortlessly. Simon may have hated the performance, but Jon garnered the majority of votes from the audience, and became America's Choice for 2004 ( Clay held that title in 2003 ). I predict big things for this little fella. He's the one to watch!

By the way, there're only 4 guys out of the 12 finalists this time round. Kinda pathetic, but they'll definitely give the girls some serious competition. I can't remember any of the females except for Fantasia. And the other 2 wild card choices of Jennifer and Leah are extremely dubious. Leah is the equivalent of Carmen ( from AI2 ) -- young, pretty, has a bit of a voice but can't do anything decent with it. Jennifer might turn out to be another Kim Locke -- not so great to begin with, but later improves and goes far in the competition. Well, we'll just have to see, I guess.

I'll be putting my textbooks aside for the next 6 weeks or so. Will be busy with moving house and running a whole lot of errands, plus attending various meetings / weddings / concerts. I have only 1 more off day for the rest of the month. So sad.

One more hour before midnight. Can't even keep my eyes open, yaaaaawn.

Did You Know?

... that re-minisce put up a profile of himself on his blog? I just saw it, though I can't confirm exactly how long it's been there. Just wanted to share, haha. :)

Was wondering if my own 1-sentence description needs updating. ( I would've made it longer if not for the disclaimer clause, thanks to "people up there" insisting that I include one ). But considering I'll turn 29 this June, it might be time to remove the word "young", no? What's a good substitute? "Ageing"? "Weak"? "Exhausted" is one of my favourites, but I'd like something a little more colourful. Time to whip out my thesaurus. :P

Looking back at my early posts ( from mid-2002 ), I realize how much I've changed in just 2 short years. Some of it is comforting ( e.g. getting baptized ), others good for a laugh ( e.g. my detest for certain members of the press ), and the rest an eye-opening experience ( especially during the SARS epidemic ). I do keep a journal, but entries are made at erratic intervals due to time constraints and bad handwriting that seems to be getting worse by the day. Blogging is indeed one of the best things on the Net.

So here I am, working afternoon shift again following an intensive morning session at the A&E course. Really enjoy the tutorials, but now that we've all gotten to know each other well, meeting up daily is becoming more social rather than formal. The Hong Kongers, especially, make for interesting conversation. Apparently, patients in their home country are extremely nasty and demand all sorts of tests whether you deem them indicated or not. Worse, they routinely yell at doctors and show no respect whatsoever. Who would've thought that Singaporeans are actually quite nice in comparison? ;)

Am wondering what happened on last night's AI3 wild card show. Won't be able to watch it till tomorrow night at this rate. There are rumours that Clay may show up for the results segment. Let me know if this is true! :D
Also, I understand Michael Buble will be judging one of the finals about a fortnight from now. Wowzah! ( Although I hope he's lost all that excess weight he gained. )

Sorry if this entry is a little meandering. I start to ramble when my brain shuts down. Everything's at spinal level right now. Laceration? Stitch. Abscess? Drain. Ischemic heart disease with asthma, now breathless, febrile and complaining of atypical chest pain? Errrrr.... just admit lah! ( Kidding of course. :) Hey, I take my gatekeeper role very seriously! )

5 months before my Part II exam, I'm faced with the choice of which hospital to join after I turn registrar. I was initially torn between two institutions, but recent developments have now swayed me to one in particular. Won't say which on this blog, but despite knowing that I'll have to work really hard, I'm pretty happy with the career opportunities it offers in the long run. Do I currently have an area of special interest? Kinda. It's actually trauma management, +/- disaster medicine. The latter doesn't really apply to the local context, and may require a posting in some disaster-prone foreign country ( which my mother will never allow ). Okay then, trauma alone isn't too bad. Would very much like to join a centre that manages gunshot wounds on a regular basis -- probably for HMDP. My goal in life is to perform a lateral thoracotomy solo. Gimme gimme. :D
I'm also quite keen on the prospect of training ER physicians to do competent bedside ultrasounds, be it for unstable major trauma cases unfit for CT abdomens, pregnant women with suspected threatened abortion, or even biliary colic / suspected cholecystitis. My seniors are already able to screen for fluid in the tummy and pericardial sac, but I wonder if other options will ever materialize? Anything's possible, I say! :)

Aargh, is it only 4:30pm? 6 1/2 more hours to go... *sob*