Here're a couple of good jokes from a recent issue of Reader's Digest.

A young man spots a bottle in the sand one day while strolling along the beach. He picks it up, uncorks it, and releases a genie.
"You now have 3 wishes," the genie says.
"I wish I were a billionaire!" says the man. Poof! He opens his eyes to see a piece of paper with a Swiss bank account number in his hand.
Now for his second wish. "I wish I had a cool sports car!" Poof! He found himself standing next to a brand new red Ferrari.
For his last wish, he exclaimed, "I wish I were irresistible to women!!"
Poof! He turned into a box of chocolates.

A man sits at a bar drinking beer. Suddenly, he hears a voice saying, "You have lovely ears."
He turns around but sees no-one seated near him, so he continues drinking.
A few minutes later, another voice says, "You have beautiful eyes." Startled, he looks around again, but he's still alone at the bar.
He stops the bartender, and asks, "Am I crazy, or did I just hear someone say I have beautiful eyes?"
"Oh, don't worry," the bartender replies. "It's just the peanuts. They're complimentary."


Here's something that made headlines this week. In his National Day Rally speech, our Prime Minister, Goh Chok Tong, turned emotional, saying Singaporeans are either "stayers" or "quitters", and too critical of the government for not changing policies even in the midst of overwhelming negative response from the public. He went on to say that the PAP ( Peope's Action Party, which has ruled Singapore forever, to the uninitiated ) "welcomes feedback", but will continue to make necessary decisions if they are deemed necessary and for the good of the country. He calls it "bitter medicine", and likened it to a patient having to take his doctor's advice as long as it's the right treatment, no matter how unpleasant it is.

I have a lot of respect for the PM. I believe he's a genuinely good person and a great patriot. But I also think his views are very misplaced -- whether they are his own, I'll leave that to speculation. And since he's comparing the situation to one many doctors face, I'd like to point out a few things.

First, Singaporean patients love to exert their autonomy. They can be young and educated, or old and illiterate, but there's a significant number of individuals who will question our treatment, and if they're not happy, refuse procedures/tests, default follow-up, discharge against medical advice, or seek a second opinion. Saying Singaporeans are "patients" who will understand and accept government policies if they know they're for the good of the people is plain wrong.

Second, no two doctors will ever have the exact same opinion. Even with guidelines and numerous evidence-based studies, no two patients are alike, and therapies have to be tailored to each and every one of them. This is why we have combined meetings, where complicated cases are discussed and a concensus agreed upon. Sometimes, heated arguments arise as one doctor interrogates another on his choices. Therefore, I ask, what are the opposition leaders in Parliament doing? Are we to assume that they fully agree with everything the PAP is implementing? I admit I don't read the papers very regularly, but if there's dissent within the political system, is anyone even listening?

Third, lumping Singaporeans into stayers and quitters is myopic and, quite frankly, mean. Like patients who don't comply with treatment, locals who decide to leave the country always have their reasons, and good ones at that. People I treat will tell me they cannot afford the medications we prescribe, or are unable to tolerate their side effects. Others have job and family commitments which prevent them from keeping appointments no matter how hard they try. A few even cite religious reasons. Likewise, Singaporeans migrate for good reason. I personally feel the standard of living here is unbelievable. In the near future, it may be impossible for a single young professional to support his parents and own a home, let alone a car. Throw in raising a family and the average monthly savings is close to zero. Small wonder that some of us dream of moving to places where a car costs $10,000, a house $100,000, with a much more relaxed pace of life for us and our stressed-out children.

Last but not least, the issue of welcoming feedback. Let's see, a few years ago, a feisty group of NUS undergraduates staged a peaceful protest, wearing black ribbons around campus. This was promptly halted by the authorities. Opposition leaders continue to be hauled to court, sued to to point of bankruptcy, and occasionally exiled. The Speaker's Corner, introduced to allow citizens to voice their unhappiness, has been repeatedly ridiculed in the media, is located in an obscure area of town, and has all but faded from public memory. And of course, numerous complaints from Singaporeans about the ERP ( Electronic Road Pricing ), transport fare hikes and so on haven't resulted in any policy changes. I'm still driving to work at 7am every morning -- my day officially begins at 8 -- so I don't have to pay 3 times as I travel along the CTE to the city. At its worst, this works out to $2.50 per gantry = $7.50 for a 5-minute drive, along an expressway that was built primarily to ease traffic jams and cut down travelling time, might I add.

I recently emailed the Forum editor with my opinions, some of which are listed above, and received a reply that it will not be published. Not that I'm surprised. The letters I've seen printed so far have either been supportive of PM Goh's sentiments, or mildly critical. One even talked about bar-top dancing, for pete's sake. Well, you can't blame me for trying.