Friday, June 03, 2005

A Fond Farewell our elective medical students, most of whom ended their posting with us this week, and probably swore never to do emergency medicine ever again, haha.

It wasn't always like this. You know why things changed, right? Now if only we could change them right back.

My greatest regret is not being able to teach them more. 2 months ago, when they first joined us, I was raring to go, and told a number of these eager beavers that our aim was to train them to take good histories, hone their clinical skills, generate a list of provisional and differential diagnoses, propose management, and of course, acquire a whole slew of practical skills which will prove very useful once they turn housemen.

I'm not sure just how much of the above they finally accomplished. It's been so hellishly busy of late, I've become cranky and tired, and hence, extremely quiet. No more mini-tutorials or short clinical sessions. I'm so bent on clearing cases I often ignore the students hovering within the same cubicle. ( Not proud of that at all, by the way. )

I guess that's another valuable lesson to learn: how the medical profession ( and I stress, this is completely different from the undergrad educational process ) changes you and even makes teaching quite impossible and painful.

Still, I wish you all well in your futures as our next generation of young doctors. The best advice I can give you is probably this: you're gonna HATE some of your days at work, mostly because of external factors ( e.g. patients, families, administrative snafus ), so for goodness sake, PLEASE choose a specialty you truly enjoy. 'Cos when there's nothing else left to look forward to, at least you'll have that.

And to the student who gave me a thoughtful personal thank-you card, I appreciate the fact that you're not offended by my stiff silences and occasionally gruff demeanour. And thanks for reading my blog. :)

As for Liss, who seems to have made up her mind to join the local ranks of ER physicians, good luck! :D

Rules #1 & #2

No details...

But I have to say I'm beginning to lose respect for some fellow colleagues whose tactics are frankly getting on all our nerves.

Do you have any idea what chaos you're causing elsewhere? And if you do have an idea, do you care?

It's one thing to be given a sacred privilege. It's entirely another to abuse it.

Please stop. Soon.

Extra Tutorials

A good friend is interested in learning more about music. In particular, jazz.

I can give you a few pointers, mostly from a woman's perspective, haha. :)

But I suppose it's all right, since my friend's female too.

We shall start off with Michael Buble and Robbie Williams, then move on to Jamie Cullum and Peter Cincotti, perhaps some Matt Dusk later on( just got his CD a week ago, and it's not too bad at all ).

And considering we may hop over to New York City together in October, I think an introduction to jazz is quite appropriate preparation, eh? Maybe take in a concert at the Lincoln Center while we're there. Ahhhh... :)

Now if only we can secure the necessary leave, hmmm.

Latest Reading

Not "Greatest Medical Disasters" as yet, but "Minos" by Marcos Villatoro ( also from The Tanglin Club library ). It's about a serial killer who fancies himself the mythical demon from Dante's Inferno, being pursued by the FBI and a hotshot detective from the Nashville Homicide Unit.

Crisp writing that hasn't disappointed so far. Character development is terrific, with lots of insight into the killer's motives and methods. My kind of thriller. :)

I totally see it translating onto the big screen, with Jennifer Lopez in the lead.

Turning Thirty

Weekend celebrations will be kept low-key, but fun. No carousing. No self-destructive tactics. Never been my style. Never will be.

Birthdays aren't usually big deals for me. When I turned 21, I had dinner with my ex and my family, and that was it.

But 30, now that's a milestone.

I think it's because I once set this age limit for the completion of my family. Believe it or not, I was all ready to have 2 ( or 3 ) kids before hitting my 3rd decade of life. Until the guy decided to break his promise.

But that's okay. Singlehood has its benefits, and I'm reaping them everyday. I've done so many things I never previously thought I'd be able to accomplish, met loads of exciting people, lived as fully as I could ever hope for ( barring parental anxieties, that is ).

Yet at the same time, I also realize I've grown old. Cynical. A little lonely but also cautious and suspicious. I think about my days as an idealistic innocent. Of my rosy outlook of the world and how it's disintegrated.

A tragedy indeed; but then, we all go through it. We have to. I suppose what's more important is how you cope with the fact that yes, REALITY BITES. I didn't do too well at first, but I got back on my feet eventually. No matter how much pain I've gone through, I wouldn't change any of it even if I could. As for the future, the sky's the limit ( well, barring parental anxieties at least, heh heh ).

People I'd like to thank as I journey to the land of 30-something's:

My parents and close relatives, who've been my inspiration and pillars of strength.
My good pals, who mean more to me than they will ever know.
My friends from church, who never fail to guide and support me intuitively.
My fellow A&E colleagues, who are a great bunch of people and make all this suffering bearable.
The total strangers whose random acts of kindness will stay with me forever. And of course, the celebrities who accomodated my various requests. :)

And last but not least, the fellow who shall remain unnamed, who did something which profoundly affected me 5 years ago, but is to this day completely oblivious to that fact. He unknowingly helped me through a period of almost incapacitating depression, and will always have a coveted place in my heart.

And to everyone who's turning 30: be of good cheer, for this is merely the beginning, and not the end.


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