Sunday, September 03, 2006

Cool Links

( Yes, I'm on night shift - again. But I need something to keep me awake, dammit. )


Was introduced to this by an endocrinologist at Alexandra Hospital during a recent AST tutorial. Quite entertaining.

2. Memorable Medical Quotations

Came across this during a Google search.
Reads more like a joke page than your typical "quotes". Get a load of the med students' section:

"What do you call two orthopedic surgeons reading an EKG? A double-blind study."

"The only difference between psychiatrists and their patients is that the patients have a chance of getting better."

"How many cardiothoracic surgeons does it take to screw in a light bulb? One--he just holds up the bulb and the world revolves around him."

"On rounds - It's better to be quiet and let them think your stupid; than to speak and let them know it."

"Five years after you finish med school, everything you were taught will be wrong; but if you wait an additional five years it will be right again."

And how about the surgeons' bit:

"All bleeding eventually stops."

"There are only three rules to life: Eat when you can, sleep when you can, and don't screw with the pancreas."

"When in doubt, blame anesthesia (or an anesthesiologist!)."

"Ask any surgeon Q: What is the definition of "shifting dullness" ? A: Rounds in Internal Medicine."

And of course, the medical section:

"Dermatology is the only specialty in medicine where there are 200 diseases and only three types of cream to treat them."

"How do you hide a dollar bill from an orthopedic surgeon? Put it in the chart. How do you hide a dollar bill from a radiologist? Put in on the patient. How do you hide a dollar bill from an internist? You can't."

"Internists know everything and do nothing, Surgeons know nothing and do everything, Dermatologists know nothing and do nothing, Pathologists know everything and do everything- but a day too late."

"Radiologist: Try to avoid using the word "lunch hour." I prefer the term "lunch break" so I don't limit myself."

It's a bit cruel and stereotypical, but speaking from personal experience, a lot of it is also quite true.

But funny nonetheless. :)

( Read the disclaimer at the top of the page about not taking ourselves too seriously. )

3. Another interesting site

This one's more academic and "deep". Educational, I suppose, but I much prefer wicked humour. :)

4. More

Taken from yet another site, but there're few gems here, except the following:

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse.
- W.C. Fields

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
- Steve Martin

God heals and the doctor takes the fee.
- Benjamin Franklin

Medicine, the only profession that labors incessantly to destroy the reason for its existence.
- James Bryce

One finger in the throat and one in the rectum makes a good diagnostician.
- William Osler

And Speaking of Sarcastic Humour

This week's House reclaimed some of its old glory with a pretty intriguing case and abundant griping from the good doctor.

A certain A&E consultant has a catchphrase I rather like ( and which he routinely dishes out to MOs who annoy him ): Don't order x-rays if you don't know how to read them!

I second that motion.


Am in a strange sort of mood today, somewhere between contentment and melancholy. On the one hand, I realize the great life I have. But on the other, I wish there was... more. There's a missing puzzle piece, and I can narrow it down to a few possibilities, not all of which I may be able to rectify.

Short-term solution? A quick fix, though not of the alcoholic variety ( outgrew that years ago - still vividly recall a pseudo-intoxicated state after downing a glass of Long Island too quickly, following which I miraculously managed to drive myself home in one piece. No more, thank you very much. )

I know exactly what I need, but will have to tread most gingerly in order to get what I want.

This should be fun. :)

No comments: