CSI: New York

( Don't think a spoiler alert is needed, right? )

The sponsors didn't screen the pilot. Don't ask me why, but they decided to show a later episode instead. One involving a young man whose murder was solved more than a decade later. Rather slow, but I'm a big CSI fan, so of course, I had no complaints.

Gary Sinise as team leader Mac Taylor is a good choice. Stern-looking yet kind and even-tempered, he joins the illustrious ranks of William Petersen and David Caruso in heading terrific casts populated by relative unknowns.

The New York spinoff has its own unique atmosphere - a natural progression given Las Vegas' flashy excess and Miami's decadence. NY boasts a more subdued tone, filled with dark, smoky alleys and equally dark, sombre suits ( indeed, almost all the investigators are decked out in full jacket-pants-and-tie getups ). Cool. :)

Melina Kanakaredes from "Providence" hasn't aged a day since her Sydney Hansen role. Not much in terms of acting chops in the episode I caught, but I'm hoping to see more in the future.

Favourite character? Oh yes, I have one from every series. :D

The original CSI: Eric Szmanda who plays the irrepressible Greg Sanders.
CSI: Miami: Definitely Rory Cochrane, the droll Tim Speedle aka "Speed".
CSI: New York: Get a load of Carmine Giovinazzo, who plays Danny Messer. It's probably the glasses. :)

Catch the TV premiere on AXN Channel 19 Tuesday night ( 5th April ) at 9pm. CSI: Miami's 3rd season will be returning soon on Thursdays. Add these to the 5th original CSI season on Wednesdays and I've got a whole lot of blank video tapes to buy.

P.S. I didn't win the CSI: New York set visit. Darn.

Review of Rainer Hersch's Borge Again at the Jubilee Hall, 2nd April 2005

Before I begin, here's his website.

And for the record, I haven't laughed this hard since - let's see - probably Seinfeld ( and even HE isn't as funny as Hersch ). :D

I went to this without any concrete expectations. All I knew was that there would be classical music played on a piano, with a comedy routine thrown in. From the looks of it, it would be a one-man show, with few stage props, i.e. very minimalist.

And I was right.

This being the first time I've ever been to Jubilee Hall, I was struck by the decor and the relatively small size of the auditorium. But it turned out to be a plus, 'cos a larger venue would've probably ruined the whole thing anyhow.

The stage setup was simple - single grand piano, a small table with a few items, a few spotlights, and the usual maroon-coloured heavy curtain as a background. With literally the bare necessities in play, it was up to Hersch to carry everything else.

And he did just that in the most superb manner. :)

His solo performance lasted a continuous ( whopping ) 75 minutes - without intermission. He didn't drink any water, never stopped talking, never forgot his lines, and kept the momentum racing along with remarkable ease.

Of mixed British and German descent, he joked that "I'd like to take over the world, but am too polite."

His punchlines came fast and furious, from digs at the Welsh ( "You can't beat them at Scrabble. They look down at 7 consonants and think "I've won." ), his wife and yes, even Singaporeans, to side-splitting spoofs of the late, great composers.

There are just too many ingenious moments to recount, but I can tell you he covered lots of ground, including Bach, Beethoven, Liszt, Mozart, Tchaikovsky, Offenbach, Rachmaninov, with smatterings of Glenn Gould, Andrew Lloyd Webber, ABBA, and even The Monkees ( with an alternative interpretation of their song involving Saddam Hussein - priceless! ).

He mixed and matched well-loved melodies, combining Mozart's Turkish March with ABBA's Money Money Money, inserting Ode To Joy into The Entertainer, and turning one piece upside-down thereby transforming it into yet another renowned classic.

However, this is just the tip of the iceberg. After all, these were his own creations. I haven't mentioned his Victor Borge routines yet!

Hersch's show is titled as such because it is an homage to the Danish pianist-comedian. I've personally never heard of Borge before ( perhaps in passing at most ), so learning about his fascinating history was both educational and enlightening.

If it sounds vaguely dull, then let me reassure you that it was anything but. In fact, I laughed the hardest at Hersch's Borge impersonations, in particular 2 segments concerning "phonetic punctuation" and "language inflation". The first substitutes punctuation marks with extremely funny sound effects, while the latter converts words like "wonderful" and "forefathers" into "two-derful" and "five-fathers". You get the idea.

Hersch obliged with a reading of Shakespeare to illustrate phonetic punctuation, and practically brought the house down with uncontrollable guffaws. I don't even know how to describe the scene to you, but the entire hall of otherwise sensible, composed adults turned into wobbling pillars of jelly with tears streaming from their eyes, if you can imagine that. And when he did the Queen ( as in the Queen of England ), I suspect a few of the older folks might have lost control of certain bodily functions.

Another memorable moment came at the end, during an ingenious finale that "translates" opera into English gibberish. Hersch frantically flipped a stack of large cards with special lyrics printed on them, and you have to agree that all that Italian warbling really does sound exactly like what he wrote on those cards - they flew by so quickly, but I do recall something about buying beer and brothels and Nivea and Bogota and - yet again - Saddam Hussein. More wiping of eyes. :)

I've got his "live" CD recording ( of his own routines, not Borge's ) playing in my car at the moment. Most of it is stuff he never introduced during his Jubilee Hall show, so this is a huge bonus. On my way to work this morning - and feeling rather poorly as my car broke down at the Raffles Hotel last night and I didn't get home till after midnight, PLUS the fact that the roster had a last-minute shuffle and my off-day disappeared somewhere - I started to convulse with giggles at a traffic junction along Grange Road during a certain segment, and probably alarmed the driver of an SUV next to me ( "What the bloody hell is that weirdo laughing at?!" ).

Ah, that got me through the crappy shift all right. :)

I've got Hersch's personal autograph ( with my name on it, yeah :)), and he's such an amicable chap even off-stage. Very chatty, never stops cracking jokes, and truly, truly talented.

No word on when he'll return for another performance. But if he does, I'll be sure to mention it on my blog, and ask you readers to go watch him. It's an experience no-one should miss out on.


Frustration 101

Well, it felt awful earlier, but writing about Hersch's show has dampened the effect somewhat, haha.

'Tis the season of irritating incidents, thanks to:

1. Clueless relatives who don't know ANYTHING about their father's / mother's medical condition.
Typical responses: Don't you have all that info on your computer? You're the doctor, YOU tell me. He has a "heart problem" - what exactly I have absolutely no idea. Errr, I THINK he has cancer...

*Excuse me while I yank out a clump of my hair*

2. Annoying relatives who tell you one thing and then do the exact opposite.
Typical scenario: "Oh, he needs admission is it? But he's the sort who hates staying in hospital. Please don't force him to if he says no."
Then after the patient tells you he wants to be discharged and signs the AOR form, the same relatives come running to you begging, "Oh PLEASE don't discharge him! We know he doesn't want to stay, but won't you PLEASE admit him?"
Me: "Err, but he's lucid, and capable of AOR-ing."
Them: "Yes we know that, but we WANT you to admit him."

*YEEEEESH*

3. ( This is a recurring problem, but I don't think I will ever get over it. ) Singaporeans who take ZERO responsibility for their own health. They:
(a) don't know what meds they're on,
(b) have no idea what tests were done,
(c) expect you to know all the details, as if you're clairvoyant ( heck, if I were, I wouldn't have chosen this career - just kidding )

Forced to trace old notes today ( due to a combination of clueless patient and family, and computerized records that don't extend beyond 3 years ), I read entries from a clearly frustrated fellow colleague, who documented in great detail all the advice and education dished out to said patient and family, TO NO AVAIL.
"PATIENT AND FAMILY NEED REPEATED REINFORCEMENT. MUST BE CONSTANTLY REMINDED." And so on and so forth.

Precisely why I like the ER. Frustration - yes. But at least it's transient. You don't see the same people day in and day out ( even the regulars have to go home the next day, or get kicked upstairs ), and once your shift is over, the patients get handed over and you get on with your own life.

Nothing beats that. :)